"Most people do not listen with intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply" - Stephen R. Covey
Habit 5 is the habit of empathic communication. The focus of empathetic communication is knowing that we have a greater influence with others if I truly understand them first. In order to achieve Habit #4, we must practice empathetic listening and respectfully seek to be understood. When you listen empathically, you get out of your own story and into the story of the other person. You listen with the intent to understand, not to reply.
Stephen R. Covey said that it is only once you’ve truly understood someone that you will have influence. Two things may happen:
- The person will feel validated, understood, and be more open to listening to you.
- You may also be influenced by his or her point of view, which may add to uncovering the real issue, build the Emotional Bank Account, and help you both improve communication.
My Commitment
I will listen not only with my ears, but with my mind and heart as well, in order to act accordingly. By doing the following will lead me to empathetic listening to improve communication and relationships
- Provide undivided attention
- Demonstrating inviting and open forms of body language
- Be reflective on what the individual is saying and
- Practice clarifying questions Some examples, "Can you tell me more about that?" "When you say ___, what do you mean?" "Can you help me understand what you mean when you say__?"
- Respond in a respectful way to achieve mutual understanding
How will I teach this to others?
Each week, our school has a professional learning community and we take 7 minutes for the 7 Habits, this means we focus on one habit and reflect on the habit and provide teachers some ideas on how to teach it to their students. As a result, I hope to create a powerpoint that reviews the concepts for Habit #5 Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Through the powerpoint presentation, I will model on how we can use empathetic listening with staff members to solve problems and build trustworthy professional relationships. Also, I will show the song from Youtube, that they can teach their students.
Songs In the Key Of Character